Corporate humor from a golden retriever's POV. Monthly memos, weekly Monday Motivation emails, and whatever else Rigatoni's up to in between.
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Issue No. 001 · April 2026
The Rigatoni Report
Internal Memo for Working Dog Parents
From Rigatoni's Desk
INTERNAL MEMORANDUM — PASS THE RIGATONI LLC
To
All Working Dog Parents
From
Rigatoni, Chief Excitement Officer
Re
Q2 Status Update
Date
April 2026
Team, as we continue through Q2, I have completed my review of your spring initiatives. The findings are as follows.
The Q2 Mandates are as follows:
Let's continue through Q2 the same way we left Q1 — together, unbothered, and slightly over-treated. — Rigatoni (CEO) This Month on the Feed
What Rigatoni has been up to
The start of 2026 has been a productive by most measurable standards. Content was created. Posts were posted. Rigatoni maintained his brand voice throughout, which is to say he said nothing and conveyed everything. If you missed anything, the full archive is available on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Threads. Rigatoni does not play favorites between platforms but has opinions about all of them. Riggie-Approved This Month
Products that cleared Rigatoni's review process
Rigatoni does not endorse products he has not personally vetted. The following passed inspection. Featured
Fi Smart Collar ↗
Rigatoni has been wearing his Fi collar daily. It tracks his location, his steps, and his general whereabouts — all of which he considers classified. His humans disagree. $20 off with the code below.
Code: RIGATONI
Resume Spotlight
Rigatoni has reviewed your submissions
This month's featured candidate came highly recommended by herself. Rigatoni has concerns about the snack budget implications but found the application otherwise compelling. 
Rigatoni's verdict: The proprietary bowl-empty alert system is of particular interest. Snack budget implications are under review. The self-reviewed Exceeds Expectations certification raised no concerns.
Also Rigatoni-Approved
More products Rigatoni has personally vetted are available on the Amazon Storefront. He reviewed each one. Some took multiple naps.
View Amazon Storefront →
What's Coming
Next month's agenda
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Corporate humor from a golden retriever's POV. Monthly memos, weekly Monday Motivation emails, and whatever else Rigatoni's up to in between.
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